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I’d like to sit on the tip of the mountain and gaze into the stars for eternity

I’d like to sit on the tip of the mountain and gaze into the stars for eternity

No limits here.

So I haven’t written in a while. I’ve been overwhelmed with schoolwork. About three more weeks until the end of my LAST Fall semester until I graduate. I think about how my Masters program is coming to an end, and become filled with fQ#%#$ joy that I’ve discovered my path in life, the arts, AND (I’ve discovered) my true potential. 

It’s been a crazy journey…endless nights of reading, my badass arts/culture curriculum, taking business classes, organizing, working with arts orgs, raising $7K and throwing a festival on campus, and most importantly above all my family, my love, and my new angel.  

I’m pushing the limits-there are no more. My goal is to make a difference..change the world..that whole thing. ;)

Stay tuned. 




This is the End movie

As I sit and listen to Bob Marley Redemption Song, I play visuals in my head of the heaven scenes in movie, “This is the End,” directed by Seth Rogan and Evan Goldberg. First, excellent camera angles and animated scenes - director of photography, Brandon Trost and Editor, Zene Baker, made the “important” scenes, even more critical.


Writers, Rogan and Goldberg, covered the theme of redemption. As I watched after about the first hour or so, I noticed references to what I’ve learned growing up my whole life. The biblical “demon” or various characters that played a “demon,” in this film, are depicted to similar scenes described in the bible. Seth Rogan depicted 21st Century “devil” characters; a deep red flaming devil-monster to the friend betrayer, possessed demon-exorcist (who plays Jonah Hill). Even more so, characters, a group of friends who are experiencing “the end of the world”, together continue to act in selfishness, greed, and hatred towards each other.

Yet, the writers’ direction to all “saved” characters who enter heaven through a blue laser beam and into a massive party, where any wish you make, comes true, was what I imagine heaven to be. 


Since my dad has passed away, one year and two months ago, I had always wondering what my dad’s journey was like when he left his body. I watched his soul ascend to the cosmos, as soon as I watched his lips turn from a soft sleepy-like frown to a smirk, a smirk of “I did it, it’s going to be ok.” After watching, This is the End film, I certainly perceived it to be a “this is just the beginning” empowering feel. As I watched actor, Jay Baruchel’s ecstatic smile and facial gestures as he went up the big blue laser beam, I imagined my dad’s journey to light. He reminds me “I’m going up the big blue laser beam…towards the beginning of forever, towards God.”

PFE

RIP Esperanza Vega

RIP Marcos Saul Vega, Daaaad

Huh?

Currently

Writing a personal statement to get into the MBA program

Craving

To be an artist; painter, filmmaker/editor, writer, designer

How to make it all WORK in this reality means…selling my soul, a little bit?

End goals 

Have the freedom to be my own manager

Make art and make a profit of it

Organize art programs for the community

Teach art

Truly being in the moment

Life is ok

.

.

.

Life is getting better

.

.

.

I’m living. Being in the present moment is ALL I can do, its the key to truly mastering time and my thoughts. Today at 4:50 pm, my usual time I walk out of the museum (where I work) to dump the trash in the dumpster, I encountered an older black man.  As I walked, in a rushing manner, (due to it being Friday and just wanting to get out of work already) I heard a voice say “slow down,” I immediately looked up and saw this older black man’s reality check kind-of-face looking at me. He was wearing an old looking 70’s suit with his arm over his shoulder carrying a jacket that hung over his shoulder. He looked somewhat poor. I said in reply, “I just want to get out of work already.” He say’s in a straight forward and calm way, “you’ll get there. Just relax. Don’t you want to get there in a relaxed manner?” I smiled and lightly said yes as I walked away, a little slower this time, still heading to the dumpster. So I continued walking slower and noticed the dumpster felt further this time. I thought to myself how I really was missing the moment. I was so wrapped up in fast walking to quickly finish what I need to do to get home that I missed the beautiful sunset and sounds of life.

I guess the universe is looking out for me.

Thanks Dad. :)

Gosh, life.

Life has been such a bitch lately. I’ve never experienced a more difficult time in my life. My dad died almost three months ago, I moved far from my family for school, my boyfriend broke up with me, and I’m in a completely new living situation. No appetite, puffy eyes.

Nevertheless, I’ve learned and developed new resources. Meditation, tracking, and resourcing (look it up) practices. Other then that, music and art is my default. I realized its just me, myself, and I in this crazy world..oh yea and God. 

What a life.

Gotta keep going. There’s really no other choice for me because I’m all about chasing and reaching my dreams. Life is going to hurt sometimes and I’m learning to be ok with that. I’m trying to tap into my higher self. I realize that when I overcome this I can get through anything. As I get older and go through challenges and major life changes, I grow more and more into my warrior self. I’m ok with that.

Broken hearts

To update, my father has passed about one month, two weeks, and two days ago; July 30, 2012. It was a very unexpected event. It was so difficult for me to plan his funeral, be at his viewing and be at my father’s funeral. I loved my father very much, I was daddy’s girl. There is no one or nothing that can replace his presence. I truly hated the fact that my father passed; I’m trying to accept it, slowly. Since February, my life has been one big blur, a movie that I watched my family and I go through. My father had a far developed brain cancer and survived for 5 months since his diagnosis. How does one even comprehend the concept of your most loving parent being alive for only a few months after they were just diagnosed? I am still in shock. I know the end of our time will come one day and I am at peace with knowing I already have my dad waiting for me in paradise.   

I will always be heart broken from this experience

</3

Then again, love never dies.

Found this~enjoy
P.s. animation is in the works. Getting it started.

Found this~enjoy

P.s. animation is in the works. Getting it started.

Being consious of every minute of your life

Is acting and interacting with a conscious mind an experience that one can eventually have everyday?

To my understanding, meditation is key. I have a class assignment to meditate three times a week. Besides this activity, another assignment was to push an existential re-set button on and shift your attention as if you’re encountering something for the first time, and no one else knows but you. It can be a re-set button on a relationship, activity, or place. Don’t introduce yourself, for example to your significant other or else they’d catch on.

Try it. I dare you! It is the most enlightening experience ever.

Here is my reflection of my experience. Read up!

"This activity made me very aware of my daily interactions and actions. I feel that my unconscious actions were starting to become habitual and I don’t enjoy the same experience, all the time. I “renewed my attention” with my significant other and during this experience I felt shy, reserved, and curious. It felt like the first time we started dating and the “new feeling” during this exercise was enjoyable. I noticed that my “renewed” interactions are very different from my adaptive unconscious interactions. It is an enlightening feeling to become conscious of my interactions and actions because I am more aware of my attitude and behavior. It feels like I am watching myself act in this experience.

            The next activity I did was using my phone. I pretended not to know how to use my phone. I felt very interested in all the different things I could do with my phone. I was curious about what else it could do and messed around with all the different buttons. I didn’t perceive it as an object where I could go on any social media sites and be distracted with it for hours. I separated myself from that idea and felt it was a communication tool. I was aware of how advanced technology is and appreciated that I had this device in my hand.  

            This activity was very powerful because I felt aware of my every action. I am now conscious of what is going on around me as well as what I say and do. This is an activity that will especially help me during a more challenging time, for example when I experience stress. To sum up, I am aware of how being conscious is important to anyone living.”

I hope this is something you can try on your own to become conscious*

COMFORT IN HIDING

In my past, I have experienced happiness. I traveled, spent quality time with family often, went out with friends and acted carelessly (but the good kind of fun;) and always knew what was coming next and if I didn&#8217;t I knew everything would be ok.
Now that I&#8217;m grown, I&#8217;m constantly looking at my life, thinking and planning out whats next. Of course things never go my way, but hey I always end up where I need to be. I&#8217;m experiencing true suffering for what feels like the first time. I&#8217;m experiencing true love for what feels like the first time. I try to spend time with family, but no matter what its not the same. Siblings are grown and don&#8217;t have time for family. I wonder now what it feels like to know that everything will be ok.
Life is a mystery. I&#8217;ve come out of myself, found a place to hide, and made myself comfortable. I hide from my family, my friends, my passion.
UPDATE: Dad has been taking chemo for two weeks now and radiation for three. He seems unhappy, his spirit seems to be hiding like mine. His family members are all hiding from reality. 

COMFORT IN HIDING

In my past, I have experienced happiness. I traveled, spent quality time with family often, went out with friends and acted carelessly (but the good kind of fun;) and always knew what was coming next and if I didn’t I knew everything would be ok.

Now that I’m grown, I’m constantly looking at my life, thinking and planning out whats next. Of course things never go my way, but hey I always end up where I need to be. I’m experiencing true suffering for what feels like the first time. I’m experiencing true love for what feels like the first time. I try to spend time with family, but no matter what its not the same. Siblings are grown and don’t have time for family. I wonder now what it feels like to know that everything will be ok.

Life is a mystery. I’ve come out of myself, found a place to hide, and made myself comfortable. I hide from my family, my friends, my passion.

UPDATE: Dad has been taking chemo for two weeks now and radiation for three. He seems unhappy, his spirit seems to be hiding like mine. His family members are all hiding from reality. 

I&#8217;d like to sit on the tip of the mountain and gaze into the stars for eternity

I’d like to sit on the tip of the mountain and gaze into the stars for eternity

No limits here.

So I haven’t written in a while. I’ve been overwhelmed with schoolwork. About three more weeks until the end of my LAST Fall semester until I graduate. I think about how my Masters program is coming to an end, and become filled with fQ#%#$ joy that I’ve discovered my path in life, the arts, AND (I’ve discovered) my true potential. 

It’s been a crazy journey…endless nights of reading, my badass arts/culture curriculum, taking business classes, organizing, working with arts orgs, raising $7K and throwing a festival on campus, and most importantly above all my family, my love, and my new angel.  

I’m pushing the limits-there are no more. My goal is to make a difference..change the world..that whole thing. ;)

Stay tuned. 




This is the End movie

As I sit and listen to Bob Marley Redemption Song, I play visuals in my head of the heaven scenes in movie, “This is the End,” directed by Seth Rogan and Evan Goldberg. First, excellent camera angles and animated scenes - director of photography, Brandon Trost and Editor, Zene Baker, made the “important” scenes, even more critical.


Writers, Rogan and Goldberg, covered the theme of redemption. As I watched after about the first hour or so, I noticed references to what I’ve learned growing up my whole life. The biblical “demon” or various characters that played a “demon,” in this film, are depicted to similar scenes described in the bible. Seth Rogan depicted 21st Century “devil” characters; a deep red flaming devil-monster to the friend betrayer, possessed demon-exorcist (who plays Jonah Hill). Even more so, characters, a group of friends who are experiencing “the end of the world”, together continue to act in selfishness, greed, and hatred towards each other.

Yet, the writers’ direction to all “saved” characters who enter heaven through a blue laser beam and into a massive party, where any wish you make, comes true, was what I imagine heaven to be. 


Since my dad has passed away, one year and two months ago, I had always wondering what my dad’s journey was like when he left his body. I watched his soul ascend to the cosmos, as soon as I watched his lips turn from a soft sleepy-like frown to a smirk, a smirk of “I did it, it’s going to be ok.” After watching, This is the End film, I certainly perceived it to be a “this is just the beginning” empowering feel. As I watched actor, Jay Baruchel’s ecstatic smile and facial gestures as he went up the big blue laser beam, I imagined my dad’s journey to light. He reminds me “I’m going up the big blue laser beam…towards the beginning of forever, towards God.”

PFE

RIP Esperanza Vega

RIP Marcos Saul Vega, Daaaad

Huh?

Currently

Writing a personal statement to get into the MBA program

Craving

To be an artist; painter, filmmaker/editor, writer, designer

How to make it all WORK in this reality means…selling my soul, a little bit?

End goals 

Have the freedom to be my own manager

Make art and make a profit of it

Organize art programs for the community

Teach art

Truly being in the moment

Life is ok

.

.

.

Life is getting better

.

.

.

I’m living. Being in the present moment is ALL I can do, its the key to truly mastering time and my thoughts. Today at 4:50 pm, my usual time I walk out of the museum (where I work) to dump the trash in the dumpster, I encountered an older black man.  As I walked, in a rushing manner, (due to it being Friday and just wanting to get out of work already) I heard a voice say “slow down,” I immediately looked up and saw this older black man’s reality check kind-of-face looking at me. He was wearing an old looking 70’s suit with his arm over his shoulder carrying a jacket that hung over his shoulder. He looked somewhat poor. I said in reply, “I just want to get out of work already.” He say’s in a straight forward and calm way, “you’ll get there. Just relax. Don’t you want to get there in a relaxed manner?” I smiled and lightly said yes as I walked away, a little slower this time, still heading to the dumpster. So I continued walking slower and noticed the dumpster felt further this time. I thought to myself how I really was missing the moment. I was so wrapped up in fast walking to quickly finish what I need to do to get home that I missed the beautiful sunset and sounds of life.

I guess the universe is looking out for me.

Thanks Dad. :)

Gosh, life.

Life has been such a bitch lately. I’ve never experienced a more difficult time in my life. My dad died almost three months ago, I moved far from my family for school, my boyfriend broke up with me, and I’m in a completely new living situation. No appetite, puffy eyes.

Nevertheless, I’ve learned and developed new resources. Meditation, tracking, and resourcing (look it up) practices. Other then that, music and art is my default. I realized its just me, myself, and I in this crazy world..oh yea and God. 

What a life.

Gotta keep going. There’s really no other choice for me because I’m all about chasing and reaching my dreams. Life is going to hurt sometimes and I’m learning to be ok with that. I’m trying to tap into my higher self. I realize that when I overcome this I can get through anything. As I get older and go through challenges and major life changes, I grow more and more into my warrior self. I’m ok with that.

Broken hearts

To update, my father has passed about one month, two weeks, and two days ago; July 30, 2012. It was a very unexpected event. It was so difficult for me to plan his funeral, be at his viewing and be at my father’s funeral. I loved my father very much, I was daddy’s girl. There is no one or nothing that can replace his presence. I truly hated the fact that my father passed; I’m trying to accept it, slowly. Since February, my life has been one big blur, a movie that I watched my family and I go through. My father had a far developed brain cancer and survived for 5 months since his diagnosis. How does one even comprehend the concept of your most loving parent being alive for only a few months after they were just diagnosed? I am still in shock. I know the end of our time will come one day and I am at peace with knowing I already have my dad waiting for me in paradise.   

I will always be heart broken from this experience

</3

Then again, love never dies.

Found this~enjoy
P.s. animation is in the works. Getting it started.

Found this~enjoy

P.s. animation is in the works. Getting it started.

Being consious of every minute of your life

Is acting and interacting with a conscious mind an experience that one can eventually have everyday?

To my understanding, meditation is key. I have a class assignment to meditate three times a week. Besides this activity, another assignment was to push an existential re-set button on and shift your attention as if you’re encountering something for the first time, and no one else knows but you. It can be a re-set button on a relationship, activity, or place. Don’t introduce yourself, for example to your significant other or else they’d catch on.

Try it. I dare you! It is the most enlightening experience ever.

Here is my reflection of my experience. Read up!

"This activity made me very aware of my daily interactions and actions. I feel that my unconscious actions were starting to become habitual and I don’t enjoy the same experience, all the time. I “renewed my attention” with my significant other and during this experience I felt shy, reserved, and curious. It felt like the first time we started dating and the “new feeling” during this exercise was enjoyable. I noticed that my “renewed” interactions are very different from my adaptive unconscious interactions. It is an enlightening feeling to become conscious of my interactions and actions because I am more aware of my attitude and behavior. It feels like I am watching myself act in this experience.

            The next activity I did was using my phone. I pretended not to know how to use my phone. I felt very interested in all the different things I could do with my phone. I was curious about what else it could do and messed around with all the different buttons. I didn’t perceive it as an object where I could go on any social media sites and be distracted with it for hours. I separated myself from that idea and felt it was a communication tool. I was aware of how advanced technology is and appreciated that I had this device in my hand.  

            This activity was very powerful because I felt aware of my every action. I am now conscious of what is going on around me as well as what I say and do. This is an activity that will especially help me during a more challenging time, for example when I experience stress. To sum up, I am aware of how being conscious is important to anyone living.”

I hope this is something you can try on your own to become conscious*

COMFORT IN HIDING

In my past, I have experienced happiness. I traveled, spent quality time with family often, went out with friends and acted carelessly (but the good kind of fun;) and always knew what was coming next and if I didn&#8217;t I knew everything would be ok.
Now that I&#8217;m grown, I&#8217;m constantly looking at my life, thinking and planning out whats next. Of course things never go my way, but hey I always end up where I need to be. I&#8217;m experiencing true suffering for what feels like the first time. I&#8217;m experiencing true love for what feels like the first time. I try to spend time with family, but no matter what its not the same. Siblings are grown and don&#8217;t have time for family. I wonder now what it feels like to know that everything will be ok.
Life is a mystery. I&#8217;ve come out of myself, found a place to hide, and made myself comfortable. I hide from my family, my friends, my passion.
UPDATE: Dad has been taking chemo for two weeks now and radiation for three. He seems unhappy, his spirit seems to be hiding like mine. His family members are all hiding from reality. 

COMFORT IN HIDING

In my past, I have experienced happiness. I traveled, spent quality time with family often, went out with friends and acted carelessly (but the good kind of fun;) and always knew what was coming next and if I didn’t I knew everything would be ok.

Now that I’m grown, I’m constantly looking at my life, thinking and planning out whats next. Of course things never go my way, but hey I always end up where I need to be. I’m experiencing true suffering for what feels like the first time. I’m experiencing true love for what feels like the first time. I try to spend time with family, but no matter what its not the same. Siblings are grown and don’t have time for family. I wonder now what it feels like to know that everything will be ok.

Life is a mystery. I’ve come out of myself, found a place to hide, and made myself comfortable. I hide from my family, my friends, my passion.

UPDATE: Dad has been taking chemo for two weeks now and radiation for three. He seems unhappy, his spirit seems to be hiding like mine. His family members are all hiding from reality. 

No limits here.
This is the End movie
Huh?
Truly being in the moment
Gosh, life.
Broken hearts
Being consious of every minute of your life

About:

Artist. Filmmaker. Teacher. Social Justice Advocate. Tree Hugger. Dreamer.

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